Prioritizing yourself can be so hard, and the absolute hardest part is finding the time to do so.
In the hustle of modern life, it’s all too easy for women to put themselves last on their never-ending to-do lists; between work, family, social obligations, and countless other responsibilities, self-care and personal goals often get pushed to the side.
I’ve been there. Sometime over the last few years as I juggled being a very busy mom to two little ones (and a dog) while building my dream career, I realized I was slowly becoming someone I didn’t like. I hadn’t put myself first since having my kids and as the days passed by it was starting to show up in my mood, my personality and even my relationships.
Until I finally learned an easy way to prioritize myself, every single day, without sacrificing any of the many obligations and priorities I already had on my plate…. which is what I’m sharing with you here!
In this blog post, I’m sharing the 5 steps I did that taught me to consistently and effortlessly prioritize myself daily while still balancing my family, friends, and career. I’ll be covering:
- How I finally started prioritizing myself without sacrificing anything already on my plate
- How to shift your mindset
- The 5 self-care categories you need to nourish
- Learning the power of “no”
- Creating a personal goal and breaking it down into achievable steps
- Why evaluating your community is crucial to your well-being
SO if you’re tired of struggling to find time for your self-care, don’t know how to prioritize yourself to have it make an impact, and feel like it’s impossible to balance all of your responsibilities while putting yourself first each and every day, you’re in the right place! All of that is about to change for good!
How I Started Prioritizing Myself (Without Sacrificing Anything on My Plate!)
I met my husband at 22, was married by 25 and had my kids when I was 27 and then 29. During this time I graduated college, got a job as an Assistant Buyer (my dream!) and worked my a** off to start building my career. By the time I was in my 30’s I had worked my way up in the corporate world and was managing a full-fledged team of 15 Buyers.
If you asked me in my 20’s, this would have been an absolute dream! All I needed was that white picket fence and I had “made it.”
Except, as the days passed, the grind became very really… the corporate pressure, the kids’ countless activities, the trying to find time for date nights with my husband, my mother who suddenly needed extensive care, and so many other little things… I lost myself.
I was so “in it” that I had lost visibility into what was happening to me. I was anxious, reactionary, overly irritable, and completely overwhelmed and stressed. I gained 40 pounds and hated the way I looked and felt. I was so hard on myself for not being able to be perfect for everyone that I started doubting myself as a friend, as a wife and as a mother.
I was desperate to “fix” myself. My husband constantly told me I needed to put myself first. But where was the time for that? I would try making lunch plans with friends to boost my mood, or would schedule in a workout between meetings, but I could never stick to anything long enough for it to have any impact.
I was always drawn back into the needs of everything and everyone around me being the priority.
Until one day, I was absolutely fed up with how I felt. Everything seemed to blow up around me and I knew something had to change. I needed a solution to get me off the “hamster wheel” and into a routine of making time for myself.
I read blog article after blog article on mental-health, how to prioritize your self-care, and why women often put others first and quickly learned that what I was feeling was normal. I wasn’t alone. And there was an easy “fix” that would help me rebuild my sense of self.
The solution for me was to start by simply taking 10 minutes every morning to plan out my self-care focus for the day. And to not just say I’d do it, but to actually do it.
From there, I invested in a digital planner that was solely focused on promoting life balance and wellness. It had built-in motivation for prioritizing self-care, habit trackers to keep me accountable, daily prompts that made me stop and plan what I was going to do for myself, and nightly reflections and affirmations to begin boosting my self esteem.
Before I knew it, after just a few weeks, I was noticeably happier, calmer, and felt more like myself than I had in years. I was waking up excited to plan out my day and to think about myself as a priority. My Digital Planner was something I looked forward to, and was easy to “pencil” into my day because I enjoyed it and because it took very little time to do.
I finally liked myself again and beyond that, felt like I could accomplish everything life was throwing at me while still making that time for myself.
My life has completely changed for the better. So here’s exactly what I learned and how to implement it for yourself.
This is Exactly How to Start Prioritizing Yourself, Feel Better, and Maintain Your Self-Care for Good:
Step #1: Mindset Shift
When starting my self-care journey, I first identified my “why.” WHY was I motivated this time to create a change versus all of the other times?
My “Why” was that I simply couldn’t sustain my daily normal any longer. I needed to find balance in my life and restore a sense of self. My “why” wasn’t for anyone else but for myself. I needed it for me.
In a world that often feels chaotic and demanding, achieving clarity and wellness requires a purposeful shift in mindset. I focused on my “why” and leveraged my digital planner to journal every thought I had that may get in my way of putting myself first. It felt overwhelming and honestly unachievable to prioritize myself, but I took the day to shift my mindset to one that focused solely on my why.
I then identified what I wanted my present and future to look like. What did the ideal day look like for me?
Through this process, I learned that what I wanted was a feeling, not a new schedule per-say, and that this would come through active choices to prioritize myself and in so doing create the feeling of peace and well-being.
Shift your mindset from “How do I get there” “How is this achievable?” to “Why do I want a change?” and “What do I want my day to look like and feel like?” Step one!
If you want a starting point that is designed to help you shift your mindset daily, checkout the planner I use: Her Life Planner’s Ultimate Digital Planner is designed with daily prompts for promoting self-care, mindfulness, and shifting your mindset to wellness and mental health first. It’s on sale now for 2025! Click Here.
Step #2: Nourish all 5 Types of Self-Care Daily
Often times we think of self-care as simply doing something for our self: a bubble bath, a yoga class, maybe a night of binge-watching our favorite TV show. But in reality, to truly find balance in our lives long-term we need to understand and nourish the 5 different types of self-care categories.
Once I realized that my self-care routine always and only focused on just one or two of these self-care categories, it clicked for me that I was neglecting a huge part of myself that would make me feel whole.
So what are these so-called 5 Self-Care Categories? Here you go:
- Emotional
- Social
- Physical
- Spiritual
- Intellectual
By thinking about these as separate aspects of yourself that need nourishing and self-care daily, you’ll find it easier to check in with yourself and identify what is lacking and needs more love.
At first, I found it somewhat challenging to come up with ideas on how to take care of each of these parts of myself but as I practiced and committed to prioritizing this thought process, it began to become more natural.
I started by writing out simple ways to add each of my self-care activities into my day through my Digital Planner. The Her Life Planner’s Ultimate Digital Planner I mentioned earlier is entirely focused on helping you break down each part of your day and building in that focus on overall balance and wellness.
I utilized its daily prompts to build out my plan for the day. I love that it has a Weekly Pulse section for you to prepare for the week by building out a habit tracker, evaluating your current wellness state, and identifying a specific focus for the week. It even asks you how you’re going to prioritize yourself for the week!
As the weeks went on, I felt confident in my plan to prioritize myself. My plan was purposeful and top of mind and began to feel completely manageable.
I’ve made a free similar version to Her Life’s Planner’s Weekly Pulse tool for you to get started! Print it out and fill it out weekly to get started. Click HERE to download.
After a few weeks of using this tool, I began to realize that I was consistently neglecting the social aspect of my life. When I’m stressed, I tend to nourish my intellectual side by finding value in my career and accomplishments, but in only nourishing this aspect of myself, I wasn’t making time or creating the space to check in with friends and commit to making plans.
If you want to check it out, Her Life Planner has their new 2025 Planner with a more sophisticated and in-depth Weekly Pulse as well as so many other amazing tools to help you plan your self-care needs! Click here to check it out.
I also have a 15% off coupon at the bottom of this post!
Related: 10 Reasons I Switched to Digital Planning
Secret #3: Learn the Power of “No”
Say No to One Thing Right Now.
Now, I did say that my steps for finding a way to prioritize yourself were ways to do this without having to sacrifice anything on your plate… but… this is just an easy “no,” not a reinvention of your schedule.
Trust me, I get it. When I was at my lowest I literally felt like nothing could come off my plate. I had a full panic attack because I realized there was no end in sight and I was never going to get off the hamster wheel because the only solution possible was to get more time in the day, and clearly, that wasn’t going to happen!
But the truth is, something CAN give. You just need to identify it and say “no,” even if it’s just temporarily.
Can you say no to that person at work who keeps asking to shadow you for 15 minutes? Can you say no to your dog who loves to go inside, outside, inside, outside (clearly a personal pet peeve of mine!)? Can you say no to a neighbor who needs you to watch their cat while they’re away?
Whatever it is, big or small, find something right now to say no to.
The power of “no” is pivotal in finding yourself again. Your “no” today may not move mountains or save you a revolutionary amount of time, in fact, it probably won’t or you would have done it already.
But what it will do is empower you to start utilizing “no” as a self-care method.
I loved reading “The Power of No” by James Ultcher. It helped me put into perspective that my current mindset was not necessarily “I have to say yes to everything” but in actuality that I was feeling obligated to giving to others when they were in need.
I didn’t need to start saying “no” to people to feel better. I needed to learn the power of “no” instead. By gaining the power of “no,” it allowed me to free myself of that obligation and guilt.
It’s another shift in mindset: I am now able to choose to give my time, joyfully, and if I don’t have the time, I’m ok with letting go and saying “not today.”
Secret #4: Set Long-Term Goals with Achievable Monthly Steps
When I stopped and thought about it, I hadn’t really identified any goal for myself since having my kids. Sure, when I was in my 20’s I was setting goals left and right: get a job in my field straight out of college, save money for a down payment on a house…
But after having kids and building my career, my only personal goals were the ones my job asked me to make at the beginning of each year. All other goals revolved around my family.
What do you want for YOU?
Making a long-term goal starts with identifying your vision for the future. Think about where you want to be in one, three, or even five years. What do you want to achieve?
Whether it’s having a bigger social life, building a healthier lifestyle, or mastering a new skill, the key is to be specific. Vague goals like “get fit” or “be successful” can leave you feeling unmotivated and unfocused. Instead, define clear objectives, such as “run a half marathon” or “take a new type of workout class every month.”
Once you’ve set your long-term goal, it’s crucial to break it into smaller, actionable steps. These steps act as your roadmap, guiding you toward your destination.
For instance, if your goal is to write a book, your steps might include drafting an outline, writing 500 words a day, and scheduling time for revisions. Tracking these steps in your digital planner ensures you stay organized and can celebrate each milestone along the way.
Creating specific steps is essential because it transforms an abstract idea into tangible actions. Without a plan, long-term goals can feel overwhelming or out of reach. By dividing your goal into manageable tasks, you create a clear path and make progress feel achievable.
You can write these down in a journal, write them in the notes section of your smartphone, or even build them into your google calendar to create reminders and alerts. For me, I loved writing them down in my planner because it helped me maintain momentum and stay committed to my vision.
Her Life Planner has an entire section devoted to helping you create year-long goals and then breaking them apart into achievable steps each month. I specifically love this planner’s goal tool because it breaks your goals into 7 distinct sections of your life, ensuring you’re thinking holistically about your wellness and plans for your future.
The 7 sections for goal-setting (which you should use whether you use the planner or not) are:
- Soul
- Nutrition
- Body
- Travel
- Family
- Hobbies
- Social
It’s a similar idea to Step#2, in evaluating the different ways you need to care for yourself.
Say it with me: Wellness is about creating balance holistically, not just focusing on one or two aspects of yourself.
Related: 10 Reasons I Switched to Digital Planning
Secret #5: Evaluate Your Community
One of the hardest things to do is walking away from someone who has been in your life for a long time. It can be painful, uncomfortable and even isolating. But evaluating your friendships and community is an essential practice for fostering self-care and promoting overall wellness.
A few years ago, I walked away from my best friend of 8 years. She was my everything- my soul sister. We spent every evening together, texted constantly… she even introduced me to my husband. Over the years, our friendship evolved and it eventually became toxic. More on that perhaps another time.
It took two years for me to finally feel ready to put her on pause. It felt like the worst breakup I had ever had, but I knew I needed out of the cycle that was happening between us.
It was a hard lesson for me but one I am forever grateful for having learned. I wish I had learned it earlier.
It’s easy to get sucked into relationships, whether it be friends or co-workers or family members, that served you at one point in your life but no longer do. Evaluate your relationships.
Just as we periodically reassess other areas of our lives, taking the time to reflect on the relationships that shape our emotional and social environment is equally vital.
Here’s why this practice is healthy and how it contributes to your well-being:
- Strengthens Positive Connections: Who uplifts and supports you? Prioritize them.
- Identifies Toxic Dynamics: Who drains your energy or contributes stress to your life? Does someone lower your self-esteem? Address it or let them go.
- Ensures Your Inner Circle Aligns with Your Values: As you grow and evolve, your values, interests, and goals may change. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals who share your priorities fosters a sense of harmony and mutual understanding, which can make you feel more supported and connected.
- Promotes Balance in Your Life: Do your friendships and community provide a balanced exchange of give-and-take? Healthy relationships involve mutual support and respect, where both parties contribute to and benefit from the connection. This balance is crucial for avoiding burnout, resentment, or feelings of being undervalued.
- Encourages Personal Growth: Who Inspires you? Who Challenges you to grow? Connect with these people to stay motivated and to have support as you strive for your best self.
By consciously curating your social environment, you create space for relationships that nurture your mental, emotional, and even physical health.
In the end, evaluating your friendships and community isn’t about judgment or blame—it’s about making intentional choices to prioritize your well-being. By surrounding yourself with people who uplift and inspire you, you create a foundation of support that empowers you to live a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Once I took these 5 steps and implemented them daily into my life, I finally felt like myself again.
I finally let go of the self-pressure to get everything done for everyone else, stopped letting the days go by without taking a moment for myself, and never put myself last again.
I started looking at the various aspects of who I was and nourishing them all equally. My life has had a complete reset and I am forever grateful to myself that I took the first step in identifying my “why” and shifting my mindset.
I want this for you, too!
If you need that first place to start and are desperate for a fresh routine that washes away the stress and brings in balance and peace, I urge you to start with Her Life Planner’s Ultimate Planner while it’s on sale (65% off) for the new year for only $9.80.
It was a game-changer for me in getting me to change my mindset, habits, and focus on myself holistically.
For 15% off Her Life Planner, I have a special code: “MOMFROMMERCER15“
There is so much more to this planner that helped me re-prioritize myself too… 12 30-Day Self-Care Challenges, Fitness Trackers, Meal Planners, and gorgeous customizable monthly vision boards!
The biggest factor in prioritizing yourself consistently is creating a mindset for success.
Even if you’re not ready to go all in and start digitally planning your way to meeting your self-care needs, write down these 5 steps, utilize my version of a Weekly Pulse and reference them daily.
Continue to push yourself every day to think about you.
YOU are important. YOU come first. YOU can do it.
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